may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
