i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
