It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
