Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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