hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
