your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
