I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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