Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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