Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't think brook has ever known best
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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