he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
