dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
