my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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