Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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