Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
