he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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