Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
