is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
