i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
