Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
