he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
