The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
