I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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