8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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