drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
