Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
