I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
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He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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