i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
