bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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