Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
