I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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