ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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