i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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