we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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