Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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