everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
