I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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