I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
