what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
