I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
