and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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