All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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