There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
