Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
