i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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