rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he thought i was a dude.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
