The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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