I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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