So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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