Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
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You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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