I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
