As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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