Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
