She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
