The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
