ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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