I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
