yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
