If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
