okay pat passed out under dana's car
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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