I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
