look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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