Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
