Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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