don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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